


fire

by rhinkythingz



Category: Rhett & Link, rhink - Fandom
Genre: Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Religious Guilt, Religious Themes, college!rhink, pining!Rhett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 06:23:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17075042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhinkythingz/pseuds/rhinkythingz
Summary: "it was in that moment that i knew i was too far gone, having fallen in love before i could truly comprehend the weight of what that meant."





	fire

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work ever posted to ao3 and wow i feel legit now.
> 
> i'm on tumblr as rhinkythingz so hmu!
> 
> (beta read by the amazing fanbabble on tumblr <3)

cool autumn wind ripples through his hair, dark brown strands flying in his face as he animatedly tells me a story that i lost track of several minutes back.

i originally attempted to keep my eyes on the jittery flames of the campfire, but ultimately couldn't help sneaking a glance at him. immediately i was awestruck by his beauty, as always. his petite body curled up in a foldable camp chair, hands clasped around a mug of coffee, daring to spill over with every dramatic hand gesture. his cheeks are rosy red from the cold and i've never been more in love.

i can distantly understand that he's talking about something i'm sure he's told me before, but why interrupt when it's giving me such a great excuse to admire him? i'd never admit it out loud, but in my eyes, he's the most beautiful person in the world.

i remember the day i realized i was attracted to him, and it frightened me. but what scared me to the depths of my soul, was when i realized that i loved him.

we were freshmen in highschool and it had been like any other night he slept over. he suggested we watch a horror movie, and though i protested, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep after, i gave in once he flashed that puppy dog face. who could resist that?

of course i was right, and we ended up staying awake till 4 am due to him being far too afraid to turn the light out. eventually we both fell asleep on my bed, comforted by the knowledge that the other was close. i woke up first that morning to find him in a peaceful slumber, fitted securely into my chest. his head tilted up just so and my arms were wrapped around his small frame protectively. his lips were slightly parted as he let out steady breaths.

we had shared a bed before obviously, but something changed in me that day. as i studied his face, i came to the conclusion that i could never imagine a life where i wasn't with him. i didn't even attempt to entertain the idea of holding another person this close, it was just out of the question. it was in that moment that i knew i was too far gone, having fallen in love before i could truly comprehend the weight of what that meant.

this revelation brought on continuous waves of conflicting emotions. growing up in an old fashioned southern household, where sundays were dedicated to church and everyone i knew had the same beliefs, i struggled to embrace these new feelings. our pastor preached on homosexuality in his sermon a month before my realization and taught his viewpoint as told: if you are a homosexual, you're cursed to an eternity in hell. so considering the fact that i have very not straight thoughts about my very male friend, i tend to push those thoughts down as far as they go. 

but during moments like these, when we're alone and happy, i don't mind letting my mind wander there. when we're like this, i feel safe, content. it's as if maybe my desires aren't as sinful as they say.

i didn't realize i had been staring at him, caught up in my thoughts, till he was watching me with arched brows. 

"you ok there, bo? ya look like your mind's going 1,000 miles per hour." 

he didn't know the half of it.

"'m just tired, don't worry about it."

"you sure?" his voice was laced with concern, but a quick nod of my head seemed enough to convince him.

we sat there in a comfortable silence after that for some time. him humming softly, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. i fiddled with a loose thread on my blanket, wishing i could just shut my brain off. logically i knew we could never really be together in the way i dreamt of - not if we wanted to keep our families and any sense of familiarity in our lives. besides, he's link. He could have any girl he wanted, so why would he want me? 

before i could spiral further into a pit of self depreciation and guilt, link set his mug down and made his way over to the thick blanket i laid out for myself. gently lowering himself down next to me with a soft thud, he rested his head on my shoulder. a quiet sigh slipped from my lips and i resisted the urge to pull him closer.

"do you ever think about how crazy this all is? i mean, growing up together, graduating high school, going to freakin' college? it's so weird to know that we could've never met." i could hear the grin in his voice. 

"yeah" i croaked out, suddenly emotional. he was skilled in doing that to me. "yeah i'm uh... glad i met you, man." glad was an understatement. in all honesty, i'm not sure what'd i'd do without link. he's such a big part of all that i am. would i even be me without him?

suddenly Link's hand brushed up against mine and i pulled it away out of reflex. 

"sorry" i muttered, though he was the one to move.

he didn't respond, instead he brushed his hand against mine again, this time with determination. does he want to hold hands? no, no he's just playing a joke. he wouldn't want that.  
i moved my hand away, not caring to give into his game when in reality i'd love nothing more than to hold his hand, and hug him, and kiss him and- 

"gosh you're so clueless" was the exasperated phrase that spilled from link's mouth. his sudden exclamation startling me as i quickly turned my head, promptly met with a face full of shaggy hair.

"what?" i managed to get out. link let out a puff of air and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together and settling them on his knee.

my heart beating faster than before, i stared down at our conjoined hands with a mixture of confusion and apprehensive joy. butterflies danced around in my stomach as i tried to slow my breathing. 

link squeezed my hand softly then, effectively calming my nerves. 

"you think too much. and that's coming from me. just... just let us have this for now, ok?" his hopeful tone not lost on me, i sunk further down and loosened my shoulders. maybe he's right, i should stop thinking about it so much. 

we fell asleep together again that night, lulled by the comfort of nature and the warmth of one another. the stars shined down on us as we slept. the fire long since burned out, nothing but ashes and remnants of smoke clinging to our bodies. 

there'll be a time to talk about everything. a time for overdue confessions and discussion of where to go from here. but for now, surrounded by bare trees and love, we'll let ourselves have this. the only ones who will know are us and god, sin be damned.


End file.
